But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”
– Joshua 24:15
Two friends set out on a long hike during intense heat. After the first day, they decided to travel at night. One night they came to a dried-up creek bed, and as they were crossing, a bright light appeared, followed by a loud voice saying, reach out and grab the stones in the creek bed and place them in your backpack, for tomorrow you will be both glad and sad. They followed the voice, then hurried on their journey. But the weight of the stones soon wearied them, so they began tossing them out one by one to lighten their burden. When they finally reached their destination, they immediately found a place to rest and freshen up. One of the men reached into his backpack and, to his amazement, pulled out a large ruby! His spontaneous excitement turned to sadness because all but one precious stone was lost.
This story teaches a timeless truth. Things of value should never be tossed away. But it happens all the time. People forget the value of what they currently possess. The greatest treasures can be forfeited when something seemingly more convenient is placed before them.
A family holds value, even more than gold, silver and precious stones. We’re saddened when leaders take a spouse or family member for granted, or covet something that appears more precious, leaving their valued possessions unguarded or neglected. Those who think the “grass is greener on the other side of the fence” often wake up and discover the immensity of the treasure they’ve lost.
Marriage and family are precious. Satan would like nothing better than to shatter a minister’s home and frustrate the work of God in the community and among church members. No one else is responsible for your marriage, except you.
Prioritizing family is a non-negotiable value in the pastor’s calling. Don’t allow church activities to dictate the details of your family vacation. Develop, nurture and protect what is most precious to you. If you need help with your marriage and family, seek it before it is too late! Remember, ministers are not immune to family problems. Prioritizing your time to ensure that your family receives adequate attention demonstrates your values-driven leadership.
There are many ways to do this. Here are a few examples:
- Focus – when you are with a family member, be fully, phonelessly present!
- Check in – like you do at work. When you get home, make the most of family time.
- Capitalize – take advantage of “down times” in the seasonal calendar of your church
- – use church special events like trips, camps, concerts as family time as well
- Adjust – change a church event, just like you sometimes cancel important family events
- Sync – Plan your annual, monthly and weekly calendars with church and family in mind
- Substitute – occasionally, find someone else to cover for you when schedules conflict
- Squeeze the suckers – limit social media, sports, etc. if they hinder family activities
- Practice Sabbath – to enrich soul and body and to strengthen your family
- Know your limits because your church can replace you, but your family can’t!
